Funny 50th Birthday Quotes

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The face you have at age twenty-five is the face God gave you, but the face you have after fifty is the face you earned. – Cindy Crawford

You’ve got four sizes of clothes in your closet, three of which will never be worn again by you.

After fifty, one ceases to digest. As someone once said, “I just ferment my food now. – Henry Green

I’m 50, and the only thing getting thinner is my skin. – Melanie White

I’m aiming by the time I’m fifty to stop being an adolescent. – Wendy Cope

At 50, you’ve entered the stone age: gall, kidney, and bladder.

Maybe it’s true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out. – Phyllis Diller

Who said there were no such things as miracles? You made it to 50, didn’t you? – Melanie White

50 years old means no more wearing speedos on the beach. This is a rule. – Greg Tamblyn

Fifty is a powerful age for women. You can set off sprinkler systems with your hot flashes.

When I was young, people used to say to me: Wait until you’re fifty, you’ll see. Well, I’m fifty. I haven’t seen anything. – Eric Satie

Fifty is a weird age. I can clearly remember my childhood, but I can’t remember where I put my keys. – Melanie White

Celebrating 50 is like throwing a party when your odometer reaches 150,000 miles. – Melanie White

By fifty, you’ve figured out that time is a great healer and a not-so-hot beautician.

Turning 50 means it’s only a matter of time before you’re regaling your grandkids with tales of your first colonoscopy. – Greg Tamblyn

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