Now that I’m 50, my body pops and creaks so much, it sounds like the percussion section at the symphony. – Greg Tamblyn
Now that I’m 50, people try to be polite, and instead of calling me old, they say I’m mature. Obviously they don’t know me very well. – Melanie White
50 years old: In Led Zeppelin terms, that’s halfway up the stairway to heaven.
In your 20s: Looking for your perfect match. In your 50s: Just happy if your socks match. – East of Sweden
50 years old? Look on the bright side. The older you get, the more likely you are to outlive your child support payments. – Melanie White
When I turn 50, instead of lying about my age and putting it back 10 years, I’ll put it forward 10 years so I can freely talk about my bowel movements. – Thrill Tweeter
I rented a bounce house for my adults-only 50th birthday and had a blast jumping in the stupid thing. I kept expecting the Age Police to show up and ticket me. – Janet Periat
Happy 50th – the years look good on you! But then, I don’t see as well as I used to. – Melanie White
At 50 years old, life seems shorter. No point in spending it trying to make yourself disappear by dieting.
As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two. – Sir Norman Wisdom
My 50th birthday wish: that I had as much silver in my safe as I have in my hair. – Melanie White
You know you’re 50 when the only silver lining you can see is on your head. – Melanie White
For my 50th birthday, my husband and I spent a weekend in Rehoboth Beach. My first choice was in 1978, but the time machine was booked. – Jean Sorensen